State of the Newbs Address

(An aside to several friends I run with, informally known as The Spastic Newbs of Azeroth)


My Fellow Azerothians,

This expansion has brought us many challenges. From choosing the correct ferry destination, to ensuring that all ten rats are properly killed with Deanae close enough to receive credit, we face adversity. We come together in times of trouble. We come together in times of adversity. We come together in times of a crisis, but what is important is that we come together.

Now… more than ever, our resolve will be tested by the ongoing shutdown. I refer, of course, to my computer which is now shutting down several times an hour. It is not known exactly when these shutdowns will end or how much they will affect us all, but I bring to you a message of hope.

The state of the Newbs is strong.

Through increased deficit spending, I have authorized investments in infrastructure that will provide a clear path to a brighter future. These will be implemented Soon™. In the days that follow, we will have nothing to fear but fear itself… and possibly someone's ability to control aggro.