The style of writing does vary from time to time and often may be viewed as self-indulgent prattling. There are many times I am horribly, horribly wrong or miss certain painfully obvious things. Some would say this adds to the charm. Likewise, grammatical and typographical errors likely abound. There is no excuse for this aside from sheer laziness.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Passing of a Dear Friend

Awoke in the center of Wyrmrest temple in the heart of Dragonblight—a haven, of sorts, for “good dragons”.  I’d been performing tasks for their faction, notably their queen in human form, and was left with two tasks to go.  One was close by and one…far away.  One involved killing 31 critters, the other just three.  I opted to engage the 31 on the sole basis that they weren’t going to take six minutes to jog to.  What a curiously fateful decision.

The mission itself was fun at the beginning:  you get to borrow a dragon to ride—think of it as an aerial vehicle with special attacks that replace your own skills.  Using said dragon, flap merrily to a pit where ghouls are feverishly exhuming a giant dragon skeleton for their master to animate, kill 30 of them, then kill some giant overseeing the operation and acquire a magic scythe.  It seemed simple enough.  Flapped around and rained fiery death from above, occasionally landing long enough to devour a ghoul with the dragon’s bite (doing so being the only way to heal it) and shortly I was only left with the giant.

The giant stood atop a horrifically laid out mountain called “Death Coil” that has a circular path leading to the top. I flapped over and lit into the giant.  A few blasts of fire and he was down for the count.  Immediately, he was replaced by the true master, a necromancer wielding a scythe (aha!).  I move in for the kill and my dragon dissolves and I’m left parachuting down to the ground…in combat.  I summon Steve and my mouse starts acting a little weird (trouble right clicking—like it’s sticking).  Terrific—getting off the mount has screwed up my controls slightly, I thought.  I decided to relog when this was done.  Meanwhile, I was facing the worst encounter I’d had to date.  Being surprised by all of the factors left me unable to defend myself properly and the necromancer burned me down quickly.

Take two.  I ran back to my corpse, and re-summoned the dragon to beat the giant (this is necessary), this time landing on the ground before the dragon could disappear and leave me vulnerable again.  I get one solid shot on the baddie then he fears Steve and me.  While we’re running around like chickens, he’s spamming shadow magic and I fall off the side of the mountain, being unable to control myself.  Then I discover he can shoot THROUGH the mountain.

Take three.  Ok.  He can fear.  My new strategy:  hang back a little and let Steve tank longer.  As expected, the necro feared.  As unexpected, his range covered the other side of the mountain and he could fear as soon as the first one wore off.  In a panic, I encase myself in ice and Steve nearly defeats him before getting pasted.  My ice block wore off then I was chain-feared, fell off the mountain, and was shadow bolted into submission.

Take four.  Now mildly irritated, I venture back with a new variation of my plan and decide to let Steve do ALL of the fighting and will summon a replacement if needed.  It worked!  I got feared, but was able to survive—when I saw his attention was focused on me, I ice-blocked and Steve kept pounding.  The ice crumbled and I got feared—but Steve dealt the killing blow as I fell off the ledge.  Barely surviving, I dashed up the rocky path to claim my prize, but the body was nowhere to be seen!  I searched the top of the mountain and looked to the sides to determine where he could’ve gotten off to—as the giant respawns and one-shots me.

I then had officially enough.  My gear was heavily worn and would be a small fortune to repair, I still hadn’t had a chance to fix the mouse for good, and I was seriously annoyed.  Then my obstinacy kicked in.  I had come so close last time—I’ll try it one more time.

Take five.  Giant falls and necro takes the stage.  Steve glides into battle and not leaving anything to chance, I ice block almost immediately.  When it crumbled, I dashed to the top of the mountain and noted the undead fiend was down by a third.  I risked a spell, then cold snapped and back in ice.  Steve was then feared, but had plenty of aggro so when I could move again, I burned that bastard to the ground with impunity and frost bolts.  Lots of frost bolts.

There on the ground lay the scythe.  I moved over to it and clicked to pick it up, but couldn’t.  The mouse was screwed up again. GLAH!  Why had I not rebooted when I had the chance?  Now fearful that each second came closer to having the giant spawn on top of me again I feverishly alt-tabbed and pressed mystical key combinations in a fit to restore mouse control.  It worked and I grabbed my prize.  I hopped down from the mountain top and recalled back to the temple just as the giant materialized (quest bosses have an insane respawn time to prevent questers queuing for long).  I was given a solid chunk of xp as a reward and unintentionally triggered a major plot arc.

With the Scythe of Elune back in the hands of the dragons, the hordes of evil would diminish and I was to report my success to the Alliance camp by the Wrathgate—they guys that had sent me to the Temple to begin with.  “Ok, cool.  I’ve finished this quest hub and maybe something new has unlocked there.”  I return to tell The Guy, who is apparently some military bigwig, and… World of Warcraft went epic on me and my mouse woes were forgotten

My screen blanked and I was treated to an actual movie-style cut scene of what transpired next (YouTube for Warcraft wrathgate movie – it’s worth it!)—the Alliance taking the initiative and storming the Wrathgate, only to meet teeming hordes of undead. The battle is joined by the Horde, who side with the Alliance against a common foe.  They make short work of the undead and the Gate opens once more—and out strides Arthas, the Lich King himself!  He monologues, kills the orc leader, and is about to kill the Hero, when an army of Forsaken (Scourge?  I always confuse the two) appear, enemy to all.  Using a chemical barrage, they lay waste to all, undead, orc, and human alike—killing nearly everyone, including the Hero.  His dying vision is of flapping things coming.  It is the Dragon Court in full omfg-that’s-huge mode.  Laying waste to the Forsaken, The Lich King goes “It…isn’t over.” and retreats back into the Wrathgate and it closes behind him.

When control to my character returned, the entire area was STILL ON FIRE, mirroring what I saw in the movie and the dragon queen sat in the middle of it all.  Her aura prevented the casting of spells, so I made my way down the long way to her presence and she bade me take the Hero’s shield back to the King in Stormguard. 

I did so and the King had Jaina Proudmoore open a portal to an instance resembling the Orc’s capital’s throne room.  I followed and there Jaina negotiated a tenuous alliance between the forces.  Thrall, Warchief of the Horde, related the Undercity had fallen to the Forsaken and they no longer had control of it.  An alliance was forged, but Undercity had to be rescued.  Jaina portaled us there and we met up with the King and a number of Alliance soldiers.  After a few minutes to prepare and buff up, the King led us on a charge into the sewers of the Undercity.

Just before entering, a spell of GODMODE was cast on us, that had the following effects:  +30000 health and mana, +9850 health AND mana healed every second or two and some hellacious bump in damage output.  It was needed.  Charging into the fray, throngs of elite undead met us every second.  I was taking thousands of damage a second and was barely keeping ahead of the damage curve.  My blizzards were doing clouds of damage that measured in the tens of thousands with all of the targets in melee range.  My computer started paying the price-- I had reduced my graphics to minimum, but I was still getting video lag that was ungodly. Couple that with my mouse freaking the hell out and halfway through I’m forced to crash out of the application.

My mouse woes continue after exiting—and rebooting.  It was hardware failure that didn’t respond to cleaning, servicing, multiple resets, and percussive therapy.  My mouse, my beautiful, silent mouse lovingly made in China and ordered from Japan was no more. Good night, sweet input device, and may flights of angels carry thee to thy rest.

Fortunately, I had a backup mouse and I hooked it up.  I ordered a replacement silent mouse (and keyboard too!) and after a bit, I logged back in and feared what I would find.

I was at the bottom of the heart of the city, surrounded by massively overstatted undead, no helpful NPCs, and without the godmode buff.  Oh, hell.  Getting out of there took six lives and much of the rest of my armor’s durability—I had forgotten to repair it while briefly in town.  Back out of the pit, I abandoned and restarted the quest.  The King was once more ready to lead us to victory!  I reduced my screen resolution and that took care of the graphical display issues and I was now able to appreciate the sheer wonder of storming the Undercity.

Halfway through the sewers, we were beset upon by a giant worm, who would periodically snatch me up in its jaws digesting me insane amounts of damage before spitting me across the cavern.  After several minutes, it was slain and we fought our way down to the Big Bad:  Putress (great name).  This insane necromantic “scientist” defies description.  We battled him as countless dozens of “failed experiments” swarmed each of us.  Even with godmode, thrice I had to ice block to keep from dying and the last scraps of my armor were destroyed.  I let the King tank and dealt with the zerg rush as well as I could.  When at last Putress fell, we heard the cries of cheering orcs in the background and the King…nuts…up.

Trailing along behind him, he storms the throne room and confronts Thrall, intending to wipe him and all his ilk from the universe.  After the requisite monologue, he lights into Thrall and I lay down suppressing fire, only to have all of his elite guards focus on me.  Jaina will have nothing to do with this treacherous breaking of the accord and teleports us all back home before anyone dies.

Back home, I am awarded commendations from the King for my valor and am tasked with conquering Northrend—FOR THE ALLIANCE!

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